The strange thing about living on a cruise ship for two weeks, is that you live in a complete bubble. You don’t hear any news from the UK or around the world. You can get Sky News on one channel of the TV in your cabin, but personally, I can never get past the movie channels showing Leonardo di Caprio and George Clooney. They print a ‘Britain Today’ newssheet, but I never remember to pick one up from Reception. So during the 2-week cruise my Quartet just spent on P&O’s ‘Artemis’, the Queen could have passed away, or David Beckham lost a leg, for all I knew. (Matters of equal national importance of course). It was actually the last ever voyage of the Artemis, so a sad and historic occasion. It is quite startling how attached some people can become to a ship. There was a rush to purchase/steal any item bearing the name ‘Artemis’. Although, as far as I know, no-one managed a life belt.
We really enjoy the cruises we do; they are actually special classical music ones, called ‘Music Festivals at Sea’, and this one was hosted by John Brunning from Classic FM. We played Smetana’s Quartet ‘From My Life’ and gave a performance of the Elgar Piano Quintet with John Wilson. 
We also took part in a couple of group concerts with the rest of the music team, when we would play one of our Gershwin arrangements, I would play a solo like ‘Banjo and Fiddle’, and I even found myself playing Easter Parade (complete with bonnet!) with the wonderful tenor. 
We also fitted in a hornpipe (playing) and an Irish jig (playing and dancing!)
We enjoy having passenger cabins, and the way you wake up and your hotel room is in a different country every morning. You not only have someone to make your bed, but they leave a little chocolate on your pillow every night. (Although you have to be careful with that; a friend on this cruise did not notice the chocolate and slept on it. Bet he looked a right mess in the morning.)
And the 3-course meals with such nice bread rolls, that you end up eating 3 before you’ve even started. I challenged the music team to ‘The 7-Course Challenge’ on the last night. There are actually 7 courses offered on the menu if you go for soup AND starter, dessert AND icecream AND cheese. And there is always the bizarre curiosity they offer on the menu at the end. A savoury dish like Welsh Rarebit or sardines; AFTER you’ve had pudding and cheese. So the 7-Course Challenge stemmed from my wanting to know if anyone does actually order the last item. As I was warned before my first cruise; you go on as a passenger and leave as cargo. 
Natalia had to undo my dress halfway through course number 4.
The dressing for dinner every night can get rather exhausting after a while... it takes 30 minutes and 3 people to get me in and out of this dress because it is laced up the back. 
The rest of the quartet were losing the will to live. I have to confess some nights, craving to sit at home in my PJs with a bowl of pasta and Coronation Street. Speaking of which, the absolute highlight of the cruise had to be MEETING VERA DUCKWORTH!!! The lovely Liz Dawn was giving a talk on the ship. Lionel Blair also made an appearance, but I sadly never got to dance with him.
The excursions were fantastic. 
Trying my luck in the Monte Carlo Casino.
We spotted this fantastic poster for a quartet in Monaco.
Mallorca... 
Where we sampled the local bakery.. and found a violin made from sugar...
We even went to Pompeii. 
Here's us in front of Vesuvius. (I seem to be seeing quite a lot of volcanoes this year.) I was most excited to see the dead dog I had to draw in a primary school project. 
And the rude paintings in the brothel which my Dad wasn’t allowed to see on a school trip in the early 60s. We are given the option of being an ‘escort’ on the excursions, (this is not connected to the previous sentence!) which would mean we don’t have to pay. But I’m terrified of losing someone – so I pay to not have the responsibility of counting people. I can then also concentrate on more important things like where to buy icecream.
I was delighted to discover we were in a country that served pizza by the metre!
A 2000-year old pizza oven.
I always marvel at the people who don’t bother getting off the ship in the ports, but actually it is the only time you can read a book on deck without the wind blowing the pages over. And the only time you can swim in the pool without being sloshed out of the side like a goldfish.
In Rome my friends saw the pope, but I missed him because I was haggling over the price of a pink parasol. Priorities. 
We sold lots of CDs – we have a CD signing on the last day. 
We make Bryony sit first in the line as her writing is so much nicer than mine! She writes the message then passes it along for our signatures.! I therefore also neatly avoid the problem of not understanding what name they’ve said we should write. Or it being some complicated Irish name with superfluous and silent consonants.
It was the most fun Easter Sunday I’ve had – we sang in ‘Jazz at Vespers’ with the wonderful Chris Walker Swing Quintet and then the Quartet set an Easter egg hunt for the 3 opera singers. Result: herd of musicians hurtling around the ship and consuming unholy amounts of chocolate. I had to lie down for an hour afterwards. Actually, what is the collective noun for musicians?
There is always the satisfaction of having converted some people to classical music. One man said he had previously ‘thought listening to classical music was like sticking hot pins in me eyes’, but admitted to quite enjoying our concert of Smetana.
So, 4 countries, 7 cities, 1000 miles, 7 concerts, 6 ball gowns, an Easter bonnet , an Irish jig, approximately 800 bread rolls, and a fling with an officer later, I am back on dry land. Who would know you could fit so much into a fortnight?
It is always hard coming home. You have to struggle back with too many bags (why DID I buy that pink parasol?) and then there is no one to serve you dinner. And although its nice to be back in a bed that doesn’t move, you never quite get over the disappointment of there not being a chocolate on your pillow.
